Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Re-Thinking Forgiveness

Certified Practitioner, Rapid Resolution Therapy 

Two weeks ago I saw an adult male client who needed some ghostbusting done around some text messages he and his family members had been receiving from his mother. He had a lot of emotion around the incidents, which indicates an old ghost. 

His daughter was getting married soon, so wedding plans were afoot with a lot of drama surrounding who was attending and who wouldn't attend if others did attend. As we all know, weddings are nodal events in the family life cycle, which bring up a lot of family anxiety.

I did the ghostbusting technique of "stop putting on your pants" to get his mind to see that "nothing needs to be done" about those past nonexistent events. The emotion "disappeared" for him.
When I saw him this morning, he related a brief conversation he had with his mother as she and her husband were leaving the wedding reception. She said, "Please forgive me." What came to mind to say in reply was, "There's nothing to forgive." He became curious about where that reply came from. Later he wondered if it was related to work that had gotten done in our previous session.

I felt one of those delicious "RRT chills" that we get from the life-changing work we're now able to do with our clients. 

I then told him about some new ways of looking at 'forgiveness' that have recently come to mind for me. I no longer see "forgive" as a verb, as that is something that is impossible for us to do. I use 'forgiveness' as a noun.

At a recent retreat, I heard a take on the word "repent;" it comes from a Greek word that means to turn around, or to think differently. I then remembered that "-pent" is Latin for think. (Pensive means thoughtful). Therefore "re-pent" literally means to "re-think" (great cognitive stuff!).

So keeping that in mind and adding some of Jon's RRT stuff, I have redefined "forgiveness" as the absence of all those negative, yucky emotions as a result of re-thinking.

My client exited our session with relaxed shoulders, an easier stride, and a big grin. 


Mae C. Young, EdS, LPC, has been in private practice for eighteen years in Southaven, MS, a Memphis, TN suburb. She has a great interest in neuroscience, as she previously worked as a medical technologist for eighteen years in hospital laboratories. 
She is certified in RRT and Level II EMDR, and has studied Bowen Family Systems Theory. She does counseling for all ages, but specializes in trauma, couples, and ADHD. She can be reached at 662-349-2148 and

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