There is a famous story that Milton
Erickson used to tell about the studies of Margaret Mead, Jane Belo, and
Gregory Bateson when they went to Bali in the 1930′s. They found the Balinese
people can go into a deep trance at a blink and in fact can do things like go
to the market, accomplish their shopping, even visit a neighbor–all while in a
trance. Autohypnosis is part of their daily life. The three famous researchers
actually brought back movies of this occurring for Erickson to examine. Of
course it didn’t surprise him; he recognized this is not a culturally specific
phenomenon, but pointed out that for all peoples, trance is a rather ordinary
everyday experience (My Voice Will Go With You: The Teaching Tales of Milton
Erickson, edited and commentary by Sidney Rosen, p.74). Erickson himself was
legendary for recognizing hypnotherapeutic opportunities and making lightning-fast
use of them.
Rapid Resolution therapists are keenly
interested in making rapid connections with our clients and making best use of
these naturally occurring states. We
could, in the best sense of the term, call this Guerilla Connection. We want
the world to drop away for the client, to grab their complete attention, and to
create a special kind of joining experience, because it sets up a profound
receptivity to our healing interventions. There are subtle changes that
indicate a client’s “response attentiveness.” They will vary a bit from person
to person but could include a flattening of facial expressions, staring,
absence of blinking, and almost complete immobility.
This can be created in multiple ways:
as we demonstrate interest and understanding in their situation; as we use
appropriate humor and become interesting, even intriguing, to the client; as we
provide uplift, separating identity from illness language and using tense
changes to locate trouble in the past; as we use voice to create pauses, tonal
emphases, or duplicate word choice, rate and volume of speech; as we use our own
body to mirror posture and rate of breathing; as we listen to stories from
their personal lives and catch certain signs of trance, particularly rich,
sensory-laden words that are anchoring an experience that is pivotal for them.
I’m remembering one lady who started telling me about being able to smell her
deceased mother’s perfume sometimes. In retrospect, I missed that one. I only needed to tell her “That’s it. Stay
with that” and she would have slipped into an immediate connection, a
connection she had previously been blocked from.
A person’s language can tell a lot
about their preferred channel for forming connection. Someone sharing with you
something from “the way they see it” or from their “point of view” is likely to
favor visual input. But not everyone is visual or adept at creating images in
their mind’s eye. Another person may
emphasize the verbs “hear” or “say” in their reports of experience, or what
something “sounded like” to them; they may automatically assume they must
recite large fragments of conversation for you to get what they experienced.
Such a person favors auditory input. And, of course, others will “lean toward”
being “in touch with” something, or the
“feel” of an experience. They will even demonstrate with their bodies through
shudders, shrugs, and shifts of posture whether they were “comfortable” or not
with something. These are the kinesthetic folk.
Of course, Guerilla Connection works
both ways. The other day as I was checking out of a restaurant and paying for
the meal at the counter, a sudden sneeze came on me. One of those that tickle
for a while and work its way up, that you try your hardest not to have. As my
hand went up instinctively to protect others from the spray I thought sure was
coming, the cashier mirrored my hand and raised hers suddenly to her own nose
while her eyes riveted me. The raising of the hand to cover the mouth and nose
is a universal gesture that she recognized and used to join me. While shaking
her head “No” she ordered me to say “Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon” three
times! I looked at her in amazement
because it sounded urgent and ridiculous, like the words “Ab-ra Ca-da-bra”
before the climactic moment of a magic trick. I obeyed like a schoolboy and
said the magic word “Watermelon” three times. And you know what, it worked! Not
only no sneeze, but the tickle completely vanished. In about 2.5 seconds she
had created a “purposeful communication utilizing connection, credibility, and
effective language to get the desired response from the subconscious.” She had
done a Guerilla Connection on me and performed a mini piece of good-samaritan
therapy.
I’m just amazed by language and all
the other ways we communicate and how, as a species, we connect in the everyday
to help each other. As you sit down with someone, or even as they walk into
your office, keep all channels open and you may find a way to do a Guerilla
Connection and make something very powerful happen fast.
Mark A. Chidley, LMHC, Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist, CAP, a fully licensed mental health counselor and certified addictions professional, offers counseling services at his office Kelly San Carlos Executive Center in Fort Myers, Florida.He has been in private practice since 1997. He holds certifications in Rapid Trauma Resolution(2010), Imago Relationship therapy (2001), and now specializes in the treatment of couples as well as individual trauma recovery and anxiety issues. He brings rich experience from a combined 26 years of hospital work and mental health counseling.
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